i am engaged!

Sunday, 22nd January 2012. My late adopted mum's should be 69th birthday. This date is Habibi's first year in Malaysia.

It is also our engagement day. Both of us were the happiest couple on that day.

For the first time in my life, I am now officially someone's fiance. My fiance is someone i really love in my life.

I was dressed in a very fine traditional + modern Malay dress with a beautiful veil.

My fiance is as handsome man as always.

I promise to myself to love this guy forever and be with him during ups and downs.

He is the only one for me.

Akhirnya, buah hati dah proposed!

Aku kenal buah hati pengarang jantung ni, aku namakan dia Habibi, lebih kurang 3 bulan lepas. Kenal pun di tempat dia bekerja dan aku nak membeli sesuatu pada waktu itu.

Lepas kenal, kami bermula sebagai kawan, tapi agaknya dia juga agak serius dalam mengenali dengan lebih mendalam, maka aku terima cinta dia. Lama sebenarnya aku tak buka pintu hati ni, tapi syukur sangat kerana Allah menemukan aku dengan Habibi.

Al-hamdulillah, aku dan Habibi memang serasi. Apa yang lebih aku kagum dengan dia, dia berfikir lebih matang dari usianya. Aku amat menghormati segala kata-katanya dan aku sentiasa ambil sebagai hikmat dalam meneruskan hidup ini.

Habibi sangat sayangkan aku. Pernah aku sakit yang agak teruk, aku mengadu pada dia. Dia memang susah hati.Bukan niat aku nak susahkan dia, cuma dia agak prihatin tentang aku. Kami sentiasa gembira bersama dan sejujurnya, aku bersyukur kerana berjumpa dengan lelaki seperti dia.

Dua minggu lepas, di satu malam sebelum tidur, Habibi menelefon aku dan menyatakan hasratnya menyunting aku. Aku tergamam seketika. Pada mulanya, aku rasakan yang dia hanyalah main-main sahaja tapi aku kenal Habibi. Kalau dia bercakap dengan serius, maksudnya dia memang beria-ia dengan tujuannya itu. Aku bersyukur ke hadrat Illahi. Doaku untuk bersamanya termakhbul.Kami berdua amat gembira sebenarnya.

Setelah berjumpa dengan abang kandungku yang sulung, dan juga ibuku, Habibi mendapat keputusan cemerlang di dalam permohonannya menjadikan aku isterinya. Syukur yang tak terhingga dan kami berdua hanya mampu tersenyum lebar dan berdoa segalanya berjalan dengan lancar.

Insya Allah, tidak lama lagi kami akan bertunang. Semoga Allah melindungi dan memudahkan urusan kami.

Syukur Al-hamdulillah, penantianku selama ini tidak sia-sia.

Aku sayangkan Habibi..

It has been a week she left us..

Dedicated to my godsister - Anisah Hussain

I thank Allah for letting you came into my life.
You opened my heart into impossibilities.
You said that people must change for a better future.
You proved it. I saw it.

I thank Allah because He let me met one of my angels.
I remember I cried because I was hungry..and you were there to fed me.
Thank you, Kak Anis.

Our conversation more on spiritual, motivation, current issues.
Never about hatred, never about the life in this world.
You made me open my eyes to be a better person.
Thank you, Kak Anis.

The day you were admitted in ICU, I could not forget about you.
I kept praying that you would be better, because I am still hungry for your beautiful mind
I wanted my mentor back into my life as who she was supposed to be
I wanted my wisdom angel to be around me and guide me with His words.

But you still lying there on the bed.

The day I saw you, I tried to keep my tears from falling
Because I wanted you to see that this person is as strong as you were.
This person able to be there when you need a company.
But this heart was crying while looking at your face...

The day you passed away, I could not do anything but thinking about our memories together.
I am missing you, kak Anis.

The night when you were back to God, I was there to witness it and i kept telling myself, this should not happen to us.It is too early,you left me and the rest who love you too early.

Your books, your mind, your heart remain in me. I love you, Kak Anisah ..

i love him..

He is young, he is bold.
He is caring, he loves me.

He was there for me, even if he is far.
He is in my heart, always.

I love his maturity.
I love his beautiful mind,
The way he defends me, protects me.
The way he cares about me.

The way he looks at me, with that loving eyes,
Makes me wander, why he picked me.
He respects me, he takes my opinions as a spirit.
To motivate his mind.


I love him..

pheww!! And the result are...

Again, i went to medical centre last Wednesday. this time, specialist centre. I need a better opinion as i do not want to think that i am dying in next few years. My superior gave me the permission and i was there from 10am.

Punctually i was there and the specialist is not there yet. I saw many patients waiting for him. My coughing was controlled and at the same time, i was trying to made few calls to relevant places as part of my work.

After one and half hour, my name was called. The specialist is a soft spoken person but serious about his work. I tried to make jokes but he did't buy it. Since i brought my x-ray, he had a look and CONFIRMED that i did not havr FIBROSIS!

Phewwww..... thank God for the medicine. I only have asthma and after few tests done by him, i am having a controlled asthma but my lung were not as healthy as normal person. However, the potential of my lung to be healthier is high.

New inhaler given to me and next two weeks will be another check up. I need to do blood test to check on certain matters.

preparation before i go

•Update my assets, liabilites and debts - this is to ensure that all assets has been managed wisely and enough to pay my debts, in order not to be questioned in hereafter.

•Replace my days of fasting during which I missed due to eligible reason.
- i need to recount the missed fasting days since i reached puberty until now.
- need to pay the fidyah too.

• To pay zakat for whatever i own.

• To read most of my books and magazines.

• To finish up my work by the end of the day as if tomorrow I will not be around anymore.

My Diwali 2011

I woke up early in the morning for a planned check up as i am still suffering coughing and tight chest. I need a second opinion as i need confirmation on my sickness. The doctor who diagnosed me as having asthma was the same doctor who said that my late mum was having swelling lungs; which was wrong as she was actually having Fibrosis.

I don't believe him. I need a better consultation.

Therefore, the first hospital that I went was UM Medical Centre (also known as PPUM).i was a bit upset as outpatient clinic was obviously closed on public holiday. Urghhh! I went to emergency and trauma dept but the guy who worked there declined to entertain my serius level of coughing.. Hmmmm....

With a friend's advice, i went to Sg. Buloh Hospital to seek for check up and second opinion. I drove there alone, registered myself and waited for my que. The waiting list was quite long but the waiting time is short. I had my treatment in less than 2 hours for everything.

Lucky it was not Tuberculosis. The doc confirmed that it was asthma. However, my lungs were showing its sign of lung fibrosis. Environment and asthma are the main factor. She described my lungs as 40 year old man lungs.

There goes my fitness spirit to the gym.

My coughing will go soon but I must control my asthma. Oh my....